Perspective

So. it's been a while. and a whole lot of nothing has happened. And I've been feeling a bit off about everything for weeks, but then i thought about perspective. So I'm trying to change it.

The bad things.

• I haven't kept up with my creature making (boo)

• the diet went out the window for a few weeks, and now i have to start again (boo)

• there's been losses and illness a lot in the family of late

• General stresses, like dissertation pressure and deciding what to do with my life and such like

• Lack of sleep for quite a long while due to the above... haven't slept well in about 2 weeks now, what is that about?

• And an awful lot of procrastination, mostly cause I'm always exhausted!!

• Plus a general load of winter dread. Dark and cold is misery.

But regardless I'm still hopeful (I think :p) after looking at it like this.

I now have direction. I finally decided what I'm doing when i leave uni (with my super duper first please if you're listening degree fairy!!). I'd been tearing my hair out over it for ages, but know I know. I'm probably gunna have to take a year out now, cause I've decided too late. But that's not the worst thing I suppose. I could do with a break from all the assignments and stuff anyway!! I'm gunna get a general job and do loads of experience in schools around it for a year or so, then I'm going to do a PGCE or SCITT (think I'd prefer a scitt since I can do that from home). Then I'm gunna teach for a while. Get married and settled a bit. Then I'm doing a doctorate in educational psychology, and then I'm gunna try and change the world a little bit at a time :) (really REALLY little bits at a time)

I start experience in a school tomorrow, my first day! and i just know I'm gunna love it! excited is an understatement!

I am also starting my first paying job in January. It's a research project assistant job, and I'm basically going into schools and helping to test the best way to motivate kids. If the results are good, it could potentially change everything about how teachers teach and are taught to teach in the future, and I find it exciting! (plus it's 8.08 an hour, which is real snazzy for my first job i think!) The extra plus is that because it's through the uni, they have no problem fitting around my timetable, which has been the major hurdle till now.

My diet IS going to take off again. I keep creeping down a bit every now and then, but now it's gunna go a bit steadier if you please! I just want a bit more off and a bit more toning. A size 8 bum to match the rest of me would be nice ;) thankfully, I've got the girls backing me up on this one, we're going for our first run tonight.... wish us luck!! :s

I have bought all but 5 prezzies for Christmas, and I've already decided what two of those are, i just can't order them till I go home for Christmas. The other 3 are going to be really easy to pick up between now and then. So that's all done, and my bank account isn't so sore for doing it :) yaay!! (in fact I might wrap them now cause I'm so excited!!)

I have ethical approval a whole month before we need to have it done by, and I'm starting my first recordings to build my study this week (hopefully). No matter how behind I feel like I am, I'm actually ahead. I need to remember that without getting lazy and stop giving myself the permission to worry over it day and night.

Only 4 weeks of uni left before the holidays. As terrifying as this is in some ways, (like work or how quickly my last year is disappearing) I am also really looking forward to some time at home.



So yeah. I'm hoping to get myself to be looking up instead of down over the next few days. Here's hoping!